Skip to main content

Why I Shop....

We buy our way out of jail but we can't buy freedom,
We buy a lot of clothes when we don't really need them,
Things we buy to cover up what's inside.
Kanye West
Have you ever bought things and later wondered why you did? Do you LOVE shoes, books, electronic equipment, clothes or craft items to excess? Are you addicted to internet shopping and then days later receiving all the "gifts" in the mail? I am and I'm guessing you are too. For me, shopping on the internet is almost an addiction... ALMOST. It's funny because I realize I'm doing it, and I know WHY I'm doing it, and yet, I keep on doing it.

I have the most fabulous craft room you could ever imagine. Most of which was bought on sale or through Ebay. It's gotten to the point now that I can barely move around in that fabulous room. These things take up space and time organizing items over and over again. It's endless. AND, I seldom get to "play" with any of it right now because my days are spent babysitting and my evenings are spent putting my house back together from the day. But do you think I'd stop buying stuff? NO. Ok, I'll admit it... I'm a hoarder. Wow, did that ever feel good and bad to admit. Good because I know that seeing it for what it is will help me overcome it. But bad because never in a million years did I think that would ever describe me. The house of a hoarder should look like this... RIGHT??? But I know I have the tendencies and if I don't gain control pretty soon, it will!


It all started back in 2001 when my mom died and 2002 when my sister and I had to begin finalizing her estate. There were tough days and many HUGE decisions to make and handling my parents lifetime of "things" was really getting to me. In order to get through those times, I would block out the feelings and dangle a "reward" if I could make it through the day. The reward was usually a purchase of some kind. It was a momentary happiness but it didn't last. Shortly after her estate was completed, I started babysitting my grandson to help my daughter out. For the year or so prior to that, my life was my own. Days at the beach, biking, going to the gym and taking care of my husband and house. All these fun and freeing things pretty much stopped because it was difficult for me to do ANYTHING with a baby. Carrying diaper bags and carseats wrecked my shoulders and wore me out. Shopping was impossible! Until.... I found the internet. Minutes became hours and shopping online became my solace. Getting the items via UPS and Fed Ex was exciting... until it started to make my house and my life cluttered. And it's really like the words at the beginning of this post say, "Things we buy to cover up what's inside". Inside, I'm hurting, I'm conflicted, I feel guilty for wanting my freedom and my life back. But i do.

So what's the solution? Well, first off, NO MORE SHOPPING for anything other than groceries while I access my next step. Cutting down or cutting out any babysitting other than emergencies or Grandparent time. I want to WANT to be around my Kids and Grandkids, not feel like I HAVE to be. Then have a few garage sales to weed out the unnecessary and get my house clean and organized. And last but not least, try to find my voice and be assertive about the new choices I'm making.

I'm on my way to a "Happier Place".

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Baby Shower Busy-ness

Ok, you probably thought I fell off the face of the earth right? Nope, there is just alot happening around here. The next event is Beckie's Baby Shower this Sunday. Decided to make my very first Diaper Cake and these are just a few of the pictures. The first thing I did was watch about 20 YouTube videos describing how to do it. Then I bought my supplies and put it together roughly first then more refined about a day later. This is a close up of the baby sock roses with mitten leaves. Yes, that video DOES exist! Next is a close up of wrist rattles and a little caterpiller radio that makes soothing sounds for baby. Background ribbon is from WalMart and the blanket set is from the Jungle Adventure Collection at K-mart. The topper for our "Jungle" themed cake is a Silver Back Ganz Gorilla . These little links slipped easily over the ribbon and added a little extra bling to the sides of the cake. Each layer consists of diapers along with extras like washcloths, burp pads and

Norwegian Pancakes (Norska Pannekaken)

Every culture has its pancake and this is the Norwegian version, a very light, crepe-like pancake that goes with just about anything. These "pancakes" are light and eggy and go with both sweet and savory fillings. When my chickens start up laying eggs in the Spring, we LOVE to make these pancakes, freezing the excess for another day. Yes, they freeze and thaw perfectly! Most people have the simple ingredients on their shelves and in their refrigerators SO LET'S GO! Original Recipe Can Be Found on the Outside Oslo Website   Here . Norska Pannekaken 3/4 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1 tablespoon sugar 1 teaspoon Scandinavian vanilla sugar* 3 eggs 1 1/2 cups whole milk 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, plus more for pan Mix all ingredients except butter in a medium-sized bowl using a whisk or fork until the batter is smooth and you have no lumps. Stir in butter. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to let the batter rest. Meanwhile, warm a

Gratitude

Looky what came yesterday! My Word of the Year Necklace created by Lisa Leonard ! As the New Year approached I decided to choose a word that would define my upcoming year and I chose Gratitude. Around Thanksgiving, I set up my new blog, " I Am Thankful For..." and started keeping a daily journal of all the things I have to be Thankful, or Grateful for. Each day I would review my day in my head and list at least 5 things I had to be Grateful For. It has changed the way I approach each day tending to look for the positive instead of the negative in what life has to offer. If you'd like to find your word of the year, visit Christine Kanes' website  and pick a word of the year for yourself. Then I'd hop on over to the Lisa Leonard site and pick a wonderful necklace stating your intention for the year!